Angel Wings

Have you ever felt angel wings? 
 
Last week I made my full monastic profession with the Saint Brigid of Kildare Monastery, a dispersed ecumenical monastic community in the Methodist and Benedictine traditions.  We gather three times a day for prayer by phone, and live our contemplative lives in the world following the Rule of Saint Benedict. 
 
There’s much more to say about Saint Brigid’s Monastery, but I want to speak about angel wings!!
 
One part of our profession ceremony was the ritual of being covered in a pall while lying prostrate on the floor, signifying new birth as you are uncovered and rise up.  I was a little worried about this as I can get claustrophobic, and I was one of the last to be uncovered, so would be down for a while.  As I lay there, listening to the prayers spoken over us, I felt the weight of the pall, the chill of the stone floor, the oxygen levels dropping, and felt some fear arise.  But then I began to feel the weight as hands of blessings holding me, filling me with light and love.  And my breathing slowed as these blessings caressed me.
 
When it was time to rise, the pall was lifted off.  The air rushed in, but then I felt the wings of angels fluttering around me, as though to give me one last blessing, touching me gently and reminding me of their presence, before they flew outward to those gathered, the blessings received returning to the world, the light pouring back out into the sanctuary, the love swirling and gathering momentum before flowing wide and far.  
 
The beauty of this moment took my breath away in a whole new fashion!  No longer feeling oppressed or stuck, but reminded of the healing and work it has taken to allow this love to soak into my being, and the promise I have made to continue to turn this healing and love back out into the world.  For so often I would push the love away, not trusting it, or greedily cling to it for fear of it disappearing.  So now, to allow it to saturate me and then have it turn around was, indeed, a thing of beauty.
 
It reminded me of this poem by the Sufi poet, Hafiz:
 
You have not danced so badly, my dear,
Trying to hold hands with the Beautiful One.
You have waltzed with great style,
My sweet, crushed angel,
To have ever neared God’s Heart at all.
Have patience,
For God will not be able to resist your longing
For long.
You have not danced so badly, my dear,
Trying to kiss the Beautiful One.
You have actually waltzed with tremendous style,
O my sweet,
Oh my sweet, crushed angel.
​
My prayer for us all is to remember that we have waltzed with great style, no matter how crushed we have been, and in this we have neared God’s heart!  Let us share this with our broken world, bring more and more people to the Divine dance!

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